Yes, there are people who believe that they are daemons or possessed by daemons on the internet. Sometimes, it's difficult to tell if these people are joking or if they're serious because of the facetious tone of the text. The daemon can be found on Yahoo! Answers and more infrequently on internet forums asking questions concerning their daemon descent, or informing the public of their heritage. As you can see in the example below, most of them are delusional and may possibly have some form of schizophrenia.
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| While I appreciate the amusingly vivid imagination they have, they should really put more thought into how people will react to their posts. |
1. What the internet daemon thinks will happen.
After posting his veracious confession, the internet daemon was praised and feared by the world for divulging his formidable heritage. Succubi from all nine circles of hell then flocked to his house to give him the "sinner's special".
2. What actually happens.
A few people read the internet daemon's post, chuckled, and then they moved on. Our tragic hero then creates an imaginary world where number 1 happens.
Since everything the internet daemon says is made from his or her own imagination, I would like to make up a few of their powers for my own entertainment, written in blue, while I mention the powers that they have already claimed to have, written in green.
First, the online daemons have specific powers and weaknesses. Like Pablo said in the image above, he has the power of near-instantaneous transmission, like Goku from Dragon Ball Z. But the great power of rushing out of the restroom to your living room "like in 3 seconds" comes at a great cost as he cannot go near a church or a cross, because like a vampire, it causes him great discomfort. The daemons of the internet often claim that their powers came from their ethereal daemon father raping their mortal mother. Since the internet daemon inherits powers from his daemonic father, it can also be assumed that he can become intangible and imperceptible, much like the titular character Danny Phantom. Another Yahoo Answers daemon claimed that since he is half-daemon, he has also inherited a plethora of new powers.
As well as having the powers that Pablo mentioned, internet daemons can now also:
- Hear, see, and smell things in other rooms
- Jump off of bleachers without injuring himself
- Hear other people's thoughts through telepathy
- Have mild insomnia
- Take hallucinogenic drugs
- Become paranoid and credulous at the same time
- Lie
- Launch laser beams from the palms of his hands.
Next week: The Phantom of the Opera