The Phantom of the Opera: Facebook Edition

The most melodramatic people on Facebook.

Did you know that the Decalogue originally contained an eleventh commandment? It's true! The Decalogue was originally called the "Hendecalogue", but the eleventh commandment was omitted for being asinine and the name was then changed to Decalogue. I'm sure you're wondering what the eleventh commandment was and, lucky for you, I'm going to divulge it for the world to see. Are you ready?

"Thou shalt not love Danny, for he has been condemned to a purgatory of being single".

The one commandment that singled out a person who didn't even exist during its creation.

Behold, for the Phantom of the Opera has arrived! You may have a few melodramatic friends like this on Facebook, because I sure have a lot of them! Their lives are the most tragic in the world. Their posts are very emotional and are often centred around love (or hate), trust, escape, and friendship (or lack thereof). Since it's not as much fun to talk about them as it is to read what they write, I've decided to post my own personal collection of screenshots of the Phantoms of the Opera. So grab some popcorn, sit back, and relax while you enjoy these poignant moments in human history.

To add to the dramatic tone of these pictures, I suggest that you play tone of these songs.

August

The difference between him and the last kitten is that somebody always picks up the last kitten. How could anyone not want to pick up the last kitten?

Because you're desperate for attention.

Did you know that to this day, he's still single? There's a good reason why he keeps getting declined, too (if you couldn't tell by his writing).

"I can never trust anyone again, so I'm going to complain on Facebook and take a nap like I do every week." Her next post will probably read, "Feeling very blessed to have such amazing friends"! 

See?

She got married so that she could get ploughed like a wheat field without feeling guilty about it.

"For who could ever learn to love a beast"?

"IDK who I am anymore... or... (lift up the masquerade mask on a stick) who I've become"!

Because apologising for hating yourself makes everything better.

Do what? What don't you want to do any more!?

Who's "they"? Who says this!?

Ugh, the pain.

 Sometimes the person you lust just doesn't care.

Making more than one sad face doesn't mean anything if you're not tricephalic.

"This can't be my life... why me? Why have I been cursed to be so fortunate as to be able to whinge about my problems on Facebook? The agony"!

Did you know this person is surrounded by many friends she grew up with and family that buys her expensive things? She's never felt so lost in the wealth before.

Attention-whore.

Why? Why would you post this? You could post anything you wanted to, and you chose this.

Even if it were, you would still find something to complain about.

Paradoxical insomnia must be difficult to deal with.

And everyone wants to move away from you.

Because alcohol doesn't exacerbate problems.

Melodramatic.

We need a Philologist to decipher this. 

 What's worse than the post itself is the friend who commented "only you". Yes, only you want to get away from your life. You and the other 1.2 billion teenagers on the planet. Either way, it seems like someone has been listening to Lenny Kravitz's "Fly Away" too much.

There's something interesting about the formula that this person uses to complain. I'll make a post about it later that discusses this.

Apparently, this doesn't apply to "liddo kid" spelling.

If that picture is about text messages, then why is the background a laptop on a bed?

Well, that's it for this post. Even I've had enough of my borderline suicidal friends for a day.